Not dead.

I'm still alive.

Just tt my mood has been very intense as of late... dealin' with work, life and the storm that's been buildin' up in my head. And the whole "im-starting-to-miss-him-all-over-again" thing is not helping at all. Cant i just let it go alrdy?

and i need more sleep. im falling sick.

UPDATE!

"How can anybody forget the promise?
I always knew you'd fall through, and now you're proof."

So if you're wondering whats been keeping me from updating, work and family. All i can say is that the family is currently on a roller coaster ride. One moment is up and next moment its down. Not only its physically tiring, its mentally as well. Enough said.

Last Sunday
Whats better then meeting up with partner in crime? After procrastinating for like ever, ziwei and i finally met up. Some food here, some shopping there, some bitching here and some heart to heart there.

Cant wait for the next outing!

Sunday
The saucony race was a bad run turn good..... The run itself was fantastic, others not so. I was faster then i've expected, even my dad was impressed! Maybe its the anger, or maybe im just fast. haha.

Later part of the day saw us( wellness infinity peeps) at seletar airbase having dinner. The food was awesome,Long story short. One of the must-try food there would be the buffalo wings, which comes with 35 levels of 'spicyness'. We had the wings( orginal, level 1, level 10) as entree, and believe it anot, ALL (even the chili padi lover, me) were tearing and sweating profusely after only ONE bite of the wing. My lips were swollen after the whole chicken wing. I swear it was the torturest moment in my entire life!

In a nut shell
Sometime we just got to deal with the shit some people do/cause. Because not everyone in our life is gonna stay true. We just got to open our eyes.

Just got to make it work.

And sure, the pay isnt exactly ideal and its a 6 days week. But i donte quite care, not at the moment. And yes, everyone is gonna say that money is important bla bla bla, but maybe not for me, not right now. Right now, im trying think big. Think high-concept, think general direction, think long-term goals.

All i can say is i like my work and the environment. I may not fit into the "family" there yet, but it takes time to warm up isnt it? And I may not have a life right now (im usually dead beat by the end of the day thus canceling out any life i have outside of work and go straight home.) but im sure i will get used to it and then make it work.

i know i can=)

True meaning of friendship.

They were there for me through it all, thru my up and down of my life. They are always there telling me, "You'll be okay, You'll make it through and that You can do it." I would basically give up anything in the world for them just so they will never want find the pain and heartache life holds.

Them, they complete me, they bring the widest smile to my face and make my life worth living. And even if, in the future, we maybe be apart. But guess what? We will never be truely apart, maybe only by the standard defination, but we arent. Near or far, i will always love you bffs and will never leave.

Every Ending Marks A New Beginning.

Wow, it've rlly been awhile. And nope, im not emo. On the contrary, things have finally calmed down a little in my life. The fact that i like my blog being all emo keeps me from blogging. Yeah i know, pretty sick. haha. or maybe im just used to being emo that i actually forgot how being not emo feels like.

Anyhow, what did I do while I was away? Hanging out with the lovely bffs, occasional partying and oh ya WORKING. Got a part time job at wellness infinity. Initially was just a counter job but later on they wanted a full timer for admin and marketing, so i wonder why not? Its a really good stepping stone for me and im actually looking forward to start training this coming may=))

Quicky!

WOW it's APRIL! I will have new updates back up soon, i promise! The weather is quite beautiful, i'm just glad that i've ALMOST recover from my cold.

Gonna go tomb sweeping now! CIAO!

Terrible

Annoying cough, runny nose, nasal congestion, sore throat and fever.

Love and peace are eternal.

I wonder why can't we just get all the people that we adore together and then just stay together? And i figure that maybe its because deep inside us we all know that that wouldn't work because eventually someone would leave, someone always leaves and then we have to bid good-bye.

Wed was a absolutely fantastic night, except that I was rejected entry at zouk earlier part of the night. The bouncer stamped a rejected chop which by the way was hilarious. Ok long story short, i didnt have my id and my ez link card wasnt accepted( which he say doesnt look like me). I rushed home to get my passport in the end. Anyhow, later of the night was amazing. No stupid guy to ruin the fun, awesome.

I really hate good-byes you know. And i know what I need. I need more hellos.

I really wish I was more cheerful as a person.

Why do we suffer? Why do i think so much? Why cant i smile more? Why do people judge? Why do people die? Why am i living? Why am i such a emo bitch? Why am i so pessimistic?

These questions are depressing I know. And i really wish that I was more cheerful, it will be more pleasant.

* and on a side not. Im craving slICE and sashimi. hello babes, meet up soon!!!

Some serious wedge love.

My life has been pretty mundane for the past few weeks. All i do is get up, go to school, sit there and wait for it to end, come back, surf the net then sleep and the cycle continues. Seriously in need of some excitement in my life!

Oh ya, did i mention that im sick? Yeah, im sick. Down with a cold, a terrrible one. I didnt want to torture myself further with tasteless food so i had fish curry and a packet of peanut buttercup for dinner=X



*Received these babies today, i reeled back in shock when i saw them. Im like, say 10cm taller now? And despite the possibility of these babies breaking my ankle, i absolutely adore them=))

Just do it.

Because every day you wait is another day you won't get back again.

Best solution to a clear mind.

I had a really great run this morning. All the way from my house to Lot1( choa chu kang) and back again. I love how the wind blow against my face, how the day slowly sets in and the midnight blue turns to lighter blue as vibrant colors start seeping into the sky.

Probably one of my best run in a long time=)

Emo is my middle name.

Im 19 and i feel that a part of me have already given up on the idea of love. After seeing how the marriage of my parents ended up, how my past relationships ended up. People say that love is total trust in another person. But the problem is how can one fall in love again if she don’t trust anyone, or even trust herself anymore? My idea is that love is pointless, and all that it leads to is pain.

And they told me that im too young to lose hope. I just got to keep on believing that there may be love and donte stop seeking it.

Breaking out.

The truth is, im not exactly looking forward to being in the big wide world. The good news is i will be earning my own money but the whole idea of starting all over again, alone, in a unfamiliar environment scares me. How do i deal with people with underlying motive? Why do they do that? How do i protect myself from them?

I know that I'll be fine, eventually. Now, i need to start breaking out of my comfort zone and learn to adapt to whatever that will be coming my way.

We hugged and we cried.

Yesterday was really an eventful also known as drama night. I dunno what led to the " intervention" but im glad and really grateful. Rachel stayed over at my place after partying.

And oh yea, im over and done with shaun. hello new chapter.