Into each life some rain must fall.

The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can’t or won’t treat you as well as you’re accustomed.

The past is still haunting.

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how cute you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh. I daydream about you off & on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did. I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.

But at the end of the day, love is all about taking the leap of faith isnt it?

What an awesome weekend!

A quality amount was shared with my all my beloved. Sometime its really the quality and not the quantity tt matters.

I realized that im becoming very picky with food=( TSK

Speechless

False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade.

Happy times and bygone days are lost.

You Fall for the Sensitive and Romantic Type

You are a bit of an idealist when it comes to love, and you want to be with a partner who appreciates romance as much as you do. You know you've found your soulmate when you're with someone you'd die for. You believe in sacrificing everything for true love, if necessary.

A simple "I miss you," kiss, or even look can sweep you off your feet. You tend to get lost in the moment. You believe in happy endings, and you're looking for a prince or princess willing to ride off into the sunset with you.

u tell me la, how?!

The signs

1. i save all his smses
2. i grin like an idiot when he smses me while overseas
   
3. i tell him i misses him
4. i forced him to make the time stop so tt we can forever stay tt way(im corny lyk tt k!)
5. he listen attentively to my 2 hrs of crap when im high on alcohol
6. he is rather cute
7. we knew each less than 2 weeks
8. i wishes him a happy 1 weekiversary.(now, stop laughing)
   
9. he has a clean reputation, supposedly ok i think im wrong bout this.
   
10. he is tall( HAHHAHAHHA!!!! this is important ok!)
    

What does this mean? I dunno, i have forgotten how the L word feels like, looks like, sounds like.

TGIF-ed

I think i am still paying for wad i drank on friday night=( terrible headache.

Let me break it down what exactly happened on friday. Tons of beer at the hawker, wala wala, follow by absinthe which was a big mistake, however the biggest mistake was was asking a friend for a drink. Because a drink turns out to be bottle. The rest was bits and pieces of memories. Like talking way too much, giving out real mobile no. and lastly giving drunk calls. HAHAHAHA.

i have this bad habit of drunk calling/smsing thus i have also master the art of emptying all my msges before i beat myself up the next day.

But sometimes, i think being drunk gave u an excuse to do/say things tt u will not do. Alcohol makes u brave, not stupid. it gives u the courage to do things tt u dont dare to yet want to when u r sane. get it?

2 more weeks till he is back!

In loving memories...

2 cases of suicide within 2 months.

It kinda hit me. The first one was Ethan, someone from work, we weren't exactly friends, more like acquaintance. He wasn't exactly the nicest guy and i wasnt exactly fond of him either. however deep inside him, was a sad untold past. In which we only found out after his death.

The second one was someone from TP, Melissah Toh. Ok, i dont know her, not at all. I was told that it was due to a failed r/s. Im sure there is a story behind her case too, just like every other suicide case. She is so young, so much more to accomplish in her life. Its a pity, really a pity.

Contrary to how the two simple words "commit suicide" sound, it takes more than just courage to end one's life. The struggle and the emotion running thru before the final plunge. The lose of hope, the feeling of emptiness and the loneliness.

May they rest in peace.

Expectations.

So, recently friends ard me have been giving me the "u-kinda-rlly-need-a-bf" actions. Im not too sure if its working. I mean, sure i do want a bf. But not just ANY bf. Idk, sometimes i think that my expectations are too high. arughh. i dunno!!!! and im shy. YES, Jess is very shy with guys.

Anyway, i was rlly bored. thus i came up with a list of like hmm my bf expections.

1. A Sense of humor- I goof around alot. I love to laugh and I need my someone who is able to make me laugh and laugh with me.

2. Virtues Character- Honest, strong morals and filial. C mon, this is like the basic!!

3. Responsible- Independent and know to take care of things without me having to nag him.

4. Rational- Mature, logical thinking, not act on impulse or argue like a child. There's a fine line between child-like and childish.

5. Sensitive- Im quite the emo person. I think too much for my own good, he need to know how to handle the situation without hurting my feelings.

6. Sporting- Im a veryyy adventurous person. Im pretty reckless and daring. Pretty much of a no regrets kinda person. So i will rlly appreciate if he will follow suit.

Of cos, i will be lying if i saying looks and money dont matter. They sure does matter, but they are only like bonuses if u get what i mean.

So yeah, thats about it=)

Something amazing.

My career is taking a little turn right now. After almost a year, I've came to realize that this is not quite what i wanna do. Maybe its the unhappiness, maybe its the doubting from people, maybe its just not me or maybe its all of the them. They can say whatever they want, whatever they like. Because at the end of the day, i know that they are just trying to make themselves feel better.

And because i know that something amazing is waiting for me on the other side.

Cheers~

If repeition is the key

I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics I will finish my antibiotics

And unless i wish to lose my tooth, I MUST FINISH THE FULL COURSE OF THE ANTIBIOTICS.

Surgery is a bitch, my gum hurt like *&^%%*. On the other hand, my fever have subsided. and yes, all the migraine and fever were the symptoms of the gum infection which i happily tried to ignore=X

Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free

to realize the prisoner was you.....

Lost touch with life

I traded in once colorful dream for a pay, I dont think its worth it anymore.

一波未平，一波又起

Im having the worst migraine ever, my head is exploding and im hyperventilating. Im so tired, I think im not strong enough. I dont want this anymore, i just wan to be happy=(

But yes, why should i allow others to be my source of misery?

Truth

I have yet to figure out how to be completely happy, because I'm not. I guess, in time I will be happy, but right now, it's really hard to deal with what I have to try to deal with.

Maybe its about taking chances and overcoming my fear, my selfishness. Or maybe its about make a decision and jump, and not regret it.

So, that’s the dream I’m working on.