Just give me a break

And cut me some slack.

My luck is improving(I THINK)

Im thankful for having a great job.I’m hardly ever miserable at work. I’m thankful that not only do I have a good job, but I genuinely enjoy the people I work with.
Im thankful for things to look forward to. I have goals, big and small, on my list, both planned and yet to be, to be excited about.
Im thankful for The hard times: Because they've made me stronger and wiser, and the good times even better.
Im thankful for all the lovely ladies in my life. Ladies who I can count on, who care about me, and who want only the best for me.
Lastly Im thankful for all the blessings and good luck=)

2009 have been a really really REEAAALLLLy good year. And now I cant wait to see what 2010 have for me!!!!!

ZoukOut 2009!

SOOOO. anyway. with regard to my previous post. Headed down to zoukout despite the nasty rashes. HAHA who cares. everyone was high, i doubt they even notice my ugly rashes. Richie Hawkin was the bomb! And before anyone ask why not Armin since he is like the #1 DJ in the world, it was becos i headed back before Armin started playing(he was scheduled at 5am plus)!!! Yes, loser. But i cant help it! My foot KO-ed at aroung 5am, too much jumping. LOL

Zoukout was surprisingly fun(minus some usual issue)! The house music was phenomenal, the rnb sucks thou. but seriously, i wasnt expecting zoukout to be that fun. Reviews for the past few yrs haven been exactly good. Guess im just lucky!

Damn

Despite alrdy gotten the zoukout tix, I think im gonna give it a miss. My skin is suffering from the worst skin allegy ever. My arms, my legs my whole body. They are so raw, red and itchy=(

Every ending marks a new beginning

Im almost ready to spread my wings and fly.

Lost and not found.

Lost in transition, stuck in unsatisfactory circumstances, confused about my direction in life.

I started out so motivated and so full of drive. But now im not so sure. Im not even clear of my goal now. i cant see what is in front of me. I need to figure my way out of this.

I know i can definitely pull thru this, but the ultimate qn is when?

I think im about to cry.

Theres so many things in my head, i dont even know where to start. I think i ought to stop stressing myself out, stop trying to give 101% in everything and maybe from then i will learn to relax=(

YUMMMYYYY

The food were not only phenomenal, they are also my last feast before my diet.( which btw starts tmr) i have put on a hefty weight i know, so shut up. So anyway, diet starts tmr. back to calorie watching=((

me no like calories counting=((

Simple yet...

Its funny how something he said fits right into the empty place in my heart=)

Tonsillolith.

Managed to scrap thru my work today and revisted the doctor. Gotten another jab from the doctor today. This time, it hurt like mofo!!!!

So anyway, the doctor told me i had tonsillolith. In layman term, it meant tonsil stone, like ulcers on my tonsil. The worst thing is, i have not one and not two but 4 of those on my tonsil. Which also makes makes swallowing even water a bitch, let alone swallow food.

And a throbbing headache aint exactly an icing on the cake=(( Maybe i shld just get rid of the tonsil once and for all.

Sick. AGAIN.

Had a really infected throat and high fever=( Got a jab from the doctor and was told to go for blood test if fever have not subside by wed. Pretty bad huh?

39.3 degree c. Was sent home by the doctor and given 2 days of mc.
39.5 degree c. On the second day of mc.
37.5 degree c. In the noon.
38.2 degree c. In the evening.
37.0 degree c. Now.

So one min it was up and another min it is down. The fluctuating of my temperature are kinda driving me insane.

But i just got to say that i really appreciate the "get-well-soon" and "drink-more-water-and-rest-more" smses=) They really did brighten up my day=)

Confused.

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships--the ones that last-- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is...suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with." -Dana Scully (The X-Files)

My day

You know, i have this habit of being SUPER emo on my birthday. But amazingly, i wasnt that emo this yr. still feel abit of sadness, but not as much as before. Thats a good thing right?

So anyway! On my birthday, the company bought me a ice cream cake and of cos sang me the wellness infinity bdae song=) i haven had someone singing me bdae song for a rlly long time, the last time was say 4 yrs ago? Afterwhich, the managers decided to bring me to carousel@Royal Plaza Hotel. I love my colleagues, managers and basically the whole company=)

Then it was the weekend celebration with wendy babe and rayner. Nice catching up with them. They are like the friends whom i might not meet often, yet i know that they will always be there type of friend. Precious much? LOL.

Sunday was deepavali celebration at auntie sarah's house. awesome indian food and cookies! And did i mention that it is my first deepavali celebration?

Was greeted by a really sweet msg, totally brighten my day=)

*rlly lazy to upload photos. shall do so when i feel more like it. HAHA!

Thank you me

Just so you know, Im now CPR and AED certifed.

Three more days to my day. And I've decided to give myself a ultimate shopping spree as a birthday present. Cant think of a better birthday present. HEHE.

Berry good.

StrawBlackberry? This question have been flooding my mind ever since i dropped my mobile. But the thing is that im not exactly a very careful kinda person when it comes to mobile phone. Its either i lost it, or i dropped it and it usually happen within a year of purchase. So basically, the life span of my mobile is at most a year. HAHA. pathetic.

SO SHOULD I GET IT ANOT?

Maybe

A boy and girl can be just friends, but eventually one of them will fall for the other,
maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late.

or maybe, just maybe, forever.

Kualar Lumpur

Stayed at Berjaya Times square. Broklyn suite is indeed SWEET(pun intended). The room is rlly comfortable, bathroom is huge and the bed is really really comfortable but i spent most of the time on the couch(ER HEM!!!)

We went to many places but will only be mentioning a couple( blame it on my laziness). Chinatown for the cheap bargains, Jalan alor for the yummilious food and Sungei Wang for the clothing.

Truth to be told, there rlly is nth much(imho) at Berjaya times square despite it being one for the bigger shopping mall. But something that that makes Times square worth mentioning is..... KRISPY KREME. If u think donut factory is good, u shld really try K.K. Its definately the bomb!

Smile=)

Happy...

Cos I like being the fav girl=)

The boy paradox

What do u think? LOL.

LAZY

I just woke up from my nap, and im so super duper lazy to study=( And the 1 hr or squash and 1 hr of tennis surely does not help. Oh ya, and i got to go to the supermarket to get some grocery(blame the inner auntie in me)!

11 more days!!!!!! e.x.c.i.t.e.d

So many things to do, so little time.

This month is all bout time management. Lots preparation to be done prior to the pitching(btw its my first ever pitch!), twice a week basic exercise course that will be carry over approximately one and a half month period. And also to find some time out for the CPR+AED course, otherwise i wont be able to take the BEC exam. All to be done on top of my regular work duties!

And I feeelt really bad for not having the time to meet the girlies. Sorry prettayyys!!!!

090909

Wishing you a marriage filled with love and joy<3

Intruded

And all i ask for are my peace, my serenity and lastly my sleep.

Need to put an end to the cycle.

I need to stop living paycheck to paycheck. And start tracking my expenses, setting goals and cutting costs.

Im tired of the never ending, scrambling-to-make-ends-meet battle every month=(

And lastly, i want to actually start saving money!

Equivalent trade?

I've always believed in equivalent trade. For example, im nice to you so theoretically u shld be nice to me too. i did smth for you, so i shld at least get back a thank you in return. Yeap, smth like that.

But as i go into the working society, i started realizing that things are not like that. People donte necessary do that kind of thing anymore. What they care about is well, u do smth for them, they benefit from you and thats it.

So anyway, i was about to give up this "equivalent trade" idea when someone at my work place actually gave me a box of donuts. He and his wife cant stop thanking me and kept telling me that i've been of a great help to them. Its really not the donut( not exactly a fan of it), its the sincerity i see in their eyes when they say the thank you.

Hope it make sense.

Extended.

2 more days of mc.

Yeap, the first doc did no shit to me at all. my fever was still here last night thus i decided to visit another doc. and the second doc merely shook his head when i showed him the medication that the first doc prescripted me. guess that says it all?

the first doc screwed up. DAMN.

UPDATES!

First it was my wisdom tooth. Followed by a really bad headache and the last couple of days I've had a high fever. Could take it no more, i visited the doc.

As usual, its the same old thing was repeated. Sensitive nose thus more prone to some kinda infection bla bla bla... And despite so many drugs prescripted, the bill actually came out pretty decent!

Due to unneccersary spendings( medical, LOTS OF CLOTHES, LOTS OF COSMETICS) i had for the past 3 months, Im now on a self imposed 2 weeks shopping ban. Not broke, but trying to get my finances in shape. Got to start planning!

Watched a couple of Nicholas spark's movies. Boy could he write! I've watched "the notebook" and "a walk to remember" like a million times(yes its a million and one now) and i still cry every single time! And i was certain that there will not be another movie that work it like they does . BUT I WAS SOOOOO DAMN WRONG. "Nights in Rodanthe", also by Nicholas sparks, another serious tear jerker. My tears were literally flowing.

Rumor has it that another tear jerker by Nicholas sparks will be realeased in February 2010. i cant wait=))

Bad day.

1.) 2 hours of sleep prior to my bad day.
2.) toothache and a sore throat aint exactly the best combi.
3.) top up my ez link card. 50 bucks .
4.) board the bus.
5.) realized that i didnt have my ez link card in my wallet.
6.) pressed the bell, alighted the bus, looking like an idiot.
7.) ran all the way back to e atm machine.
8.) ez link card was no where to be found.
9.) called transit, and they couldnt do anything bout it.
10.) so long, my 50bucks ez link.

=(

Update!

Its a tanning booth!

After i started working, i have been too busy to even to go to the beach, i had rather get more sleep on my off day than go to the beach. hehe. thus tanning booth is my only solution to get my tan. 10 mins, all in the comfort of my own little room. nude or bikini, my choice. Skin cancer? i donte really care. As long as i got my indoor lotion on, im good. cancer or no cancer, its really up to the man up there to decide. Unfortunately, indoor tanning is pretty expensive and i guess thats the only downside.




Haven't felt too well the last couple weeks thus lack of update. Slept from 6pm(ystd) to 6am(today). shiok. haven had tt much sleep in like forever. Had dinner with kaz, jon and bro at house@dempsey. A casual with a twist of fine dinning concept restaurant. not too shabby, not too over the top.

Their menu is presented in a newspaper format. pretty innovative. no?
Lamb rack
super thin crust pizza is my new love.The 1 metre sausage.

These are only a quarter of what we've order. The rest was gobbled up before photos were taken or rather, the guys were laughing at how we girls kept taking pic so kaz and i gotta control a little. TSK, the guys just wont get it. hehe.

And once again. Im broke. 30 bucks to last till 10th. Good Game.(Taught by kaz)

Trying to be cool but looking like a fool.

She's too afraid of commitment. Too afraid to let somebody into her life.
She doesn't want to love anybody. To her, that's being weak.
She doesn't want to need someone. She wants to want someone.
She should love because she wants to. Not because she has to.
She's trying. But she donte know if she can.

Confused, yet again.

Because i used to ask ton of questions, because i used to be the one who say how i feel, because i used to be so true to myself.

Idk. i really donte. i feel like im nt me anymore.

I need a break, but im broke. and its only a week after my pay day. how great is that? 3 more weeks to go=(

Lucky im in love with my best friends!

I like meeting up with the girlies. Even if its after a long and tiring day at work<3

Getting the four of our asses down together wasnt exactly an easy task, because of different commitments and all. And last week, we finally caught up with each other over a couple of drinks and pizzas over at timbre. Awesome food, drinks, music and of cos the awesome company=)

Lets plan more outing! 2 weeks in advance booking is a good plan isnt it? LOL. alrte, im turning in. goodnight!

The end.

Shame on you if you fooled me once,
Shame on me if you fooled me twice.

I've tried to be understanding. I really did. Oh well, i shld have known better than anyone else. And look at whats happening now, I donte want and donte wish to care anymore.

Fuck it.

Life is good. Sorta.

Things are finally falling into place and I'm feeling alot less lost and confused.

Not dead.

I'm still alive.

Just tt my mood has been very intense as of late... dealin' with work, life and the storm that's been buildin' up in my head. And the whole "im-starting-to-miss-him-all-over-again" thing is not helping at all. Cant i just let it go alrdy?

and i need more sleep. im falling sick.

UPDATE!

"How can anybody forget the promise?
I always knew you'd fall through, and now you're proof."

So if you're wondering whats been keeping me from updating, work and family. All i can say is that the family is currently on a roller coaster ride. One moment is up and next moment its down. Not only its physically tiring, its mentally as well. Enough said.

Last Sunday
Whats better then meeting up with partner in crime? After procrastinating for like ever, ziwei and i finally met up. Some food here, some shopping there, some bitching here and some heart to heart there.

Cant wait for the next outing!

Sunday
The saucony race was a bad run turn good..... The run itself was fantastic, others not so. I was faster then i've expected, even my dad was impressed! Maybe its the anger, or maybe im just fast. haha.

Later part of the day saw us( wellness infinity peeps) at seletar airbase having dinner. The food was awesome,Long story short. One of the must-try food there would be the buffalo wings, which comes with 35 levels of 'spicyness'. We had the wings( orginal, level 1, level 10) as entree, and believe it anot, ALL (even the chili padi lover, me) were tearing and sweating profusely after only ONE bite of the wing. My lips were swollen after the whole chicken wing. I swear it was the torturest moment in my entire life!

In a nut shell
Sometime we just got to deal with the shit some people do/cause. Because not everyone in our life is gonna stay true. We just got to open our eyes.

Just got to make it work.

And sure, the pay isnt exactly ideal and its a 6 days week. But i donte quite care, not at the moment. And yes, everyone is gonna say that money is important bla bla bla, but maybe not for me, not right now. Right now, im trying think big. Think high-concept, think general direction, think long-term goals.

All i can say is i like my work and the environment. I may not fit into the "family" there yet, but it takes time to warm up isnt it? And I may not have a life right now (im usually dead beat by the end of the day thus canceling out any life i have outside of work and go straight home.) but im sure i will get used to it and then make it work.

i know i can=)

True meaning of friendship.

They were there for me through it all, thru my up and down of my life. They are always there telling me, "You'll be okay, You'll make it through and that You can do it." I would basically give up anything in the world for them just so they will never want find the pain and heartache life holds.

Them, they complete me, they bring the widest smile to my face and make my life worth living. And even if, in the future, we maybe be apart. But guess what? We will never be truely apart, maybe only by the standard defination, but we arent. Near or far, i will always love you bffs and will never leave.

Every Ending Marks A New Beginning.

Wow, it've rlly been awhile. And nope, im not emo. On the contrary, things have finally calmed down a little in my life. The fact that i like my blog being all emo keeps me from blogging. Yeah i know, pretty sick. haha. or maybe im just used to being emo that i actually forgot how being not emo feels like.

Anyhow, what did I do while I was away? Hanging out with the lovely bffs, occasional partying and oh ya WORKING. Got a part time job at wellness infinity. Initially was just a counter job but later on they wanted a full timer for admin and marketing, so i wonder why not? Its a really good stepping stone for me and im actually looking forward to start training this coming may=))

Quicky!

WOW it's APRIL! I will have new updates back up soon, i promise! The weather is quite beautiful, i'm just glad that i've ALMOST recover from my cold.

Gonna go tomb sweeping now! CIAO!

Terrible

Annoying cough, runny nose, nasal congestion, sore throat and fever.

Love and peace are eternal.

I wonder why can't we just get all the people that we adore together and then just stay together? And i figure that maybe its because deep inside us we all know that that wouldn't work because eventually someone would leave, someone always leaves and then we have to bid good-bye.

Wed was a absolutely fantastic night, except that I was rejected entry at zouk earlier part of the night. The bouncer stamped a rejected chop which by the way was hilarious. Ok long story short, i didnt have my id and my ez link card wasnt accepted( which he say doesnt look like me). I rushed home to get my passport in the end. Anyhow, later of the night was amazing. No stupid guy to ruin the fun, awesome.

I really hate good-byes you know. And i know what I need. I need more hellos.

I really wish I was more cheerful as a person.

Why do we suffer? Why do i think so much? Why cant i smile more? Why do people judge? Why do people die? Why am i living? Why am i such a emo bitch? Why am i so pessimistic?

These questions are depressing I know. And i really wish that I was more cheerful, it will be more pleasant.

* and on a side not. Im craving slICE and sashimi. hello babes, meet up soon!!!

Some serious wedge love.

My life has been pretty mundane for the past few weeks. All i do is get up, go to school, sit there and wait for it to end, come back, surf the net then sleep and the cycle continues. Seriously in need of some excitement in my life!

Oh ya, did i mention that im sick? Yeah, im sick. Down with a cold, a terrrible one. I didnt want to torture myself further with tasteless food so i had fish curry and a packet of peanut buttercup for dinner=X



*Received these babies today, i reeled back in shock when i saw them. Im like, say 10cm taller now? And despite the possibility of these babies breaking my ankle, i absolutely adore them=))

Just do it.

Because every day you wait is another day you won't get back again.

Best solution to a clear mind.

I had a really great run this morning. All the way from my house to Lot1( choa chu kang) and back again. I love how the wind blow against my face, how the day slowly sets in and the midnight blue turns to lighter blue as vibrant colors start seeping into the sky.

Probably one of my best run in a long time=)

Emo is my middle name.

Im 19 and i feel that a part of me have already given up on the idea of love. After seeing how the marriage of my parents ended up, how my past relationships ended up. People say that love is total trust in another person. But the problem is how can one fall in love again if she don’t trust anyone, or even trust herself anymore? My idea is that love is pointless, and all that it leads to is pain.

And they told me that im too young to lose hope. I just got to keep on believing that there may be love and donte stop seeking it.

Breaking out.

The truth is, im not exactly looking forward to being in the big wide world. The good news is i will be earning my own money but the whole idea of starting all over again, alone, in a unfamiliar environment scares me. How do i deal with people with underlying motive? Why do they do that? How do i protect myself from them?

I know that I'll be fine, eventually. Now, i need to start breaking out of my comfort zone and learn to adapt to whatever that will be coming my way.

We hugged and we cried.

Yesterday was really an eventful also known as drama night. I dunno what led to the " intervention" but im glad and really grateful. Rachel stayed over at my place after partying.

And oh yea, im over and done with shaun. hello new chapter.

Dont be afraid.

Its always scary to put myself out there. But i know that if i let my fears and past bad experiences rule how im going to live, my life we would be in a stagnant position. And often i find it really hard to know when to let myself become a bit vulnerable without being too vulnerable so thus im telling myself to take it slow because good thing only comes to those who wait.

And after all, im only 20.

Sometimes i wish.

Sometimes I wish I could fast-forward time but again i never would because life is too short as it is.

Fact is it hurts, a little.

With hopes, desires and feelings. Suddenly the person turned round and become a total bastard. What a turn off. Ewww.

My lovelies.

Bumping into the girls at the club was definitely one of the best thing that has ever happened to me last year=) The four of us have been friends since secondary school but the funniest thing was that we wasnt even half as close as we are today! And who would have thought that the four of us would get along that well and have so much in common. The trip to Genting and KL was awesome, so much laughter and fun. I will love to do it one more time=)

Thank god for the girls.

Starting a New Chapter.

"Your life and the obstacles in it will never truly be over and done with until you die."

Its time for me to put the past in the past and live in the present without letting them haunt me. I've spend too much of my time dreading the future and lamenting the past, it hurts my heart and i totally miss the wonder and beauty of life in the moment.

Time to seal them up and bury them.